SSRI's & Weight Gain. How Can A Stress Relieving Pill Make Me More Stressed???!!

Hi Bloggers!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted on my wellness journey.  Even better, it’s been over a year since I tried that DETOX that I tried back last spring!  How fast a year flies by!

This year has brought a LOT of challenges to me mentally and physically as well.  I thought I’d blog about it in hopes that I can help someone else going through the same type of issues.

First being:  The dreaded WEIGHT GAIN.  Now, normally, I am the type of person that tends to stay within 5-10 pounds of what I would consider my “normal weight”.  But ever since I hit 45 years old, that has flown right off the table like a hurricane at a picnic.  It is very frustrating and mentally draining.

Secondly:  My dad got very, very ill during the holidays and was hospitalized for over 3 months, all of which I visited daily along with my brother, never knowing if he’d make it home.  The stress alone caused me so much anxiety that I ended up on a dreaded SSRI drug to help ease the stress and anxiety. At the time, it did the job and helped me get through each day.

If anyone has taken these types of drugs to help with stress, etc. than you know where I’m going with this.  As days passed, I found myself RAVENOUS, constantly hungry and very, very tired all the time.  I didn’t notice too much of a change until I went to put on a pair of my favorite jeans one night and couldn’t get them past my hips! (gasp! What the……?)

 I hopped on the scale, and there it was, that awful number staring at me and I quickly had flashbacks of the scale at my midwives’ office (yes, midwife! As in pregnancy weight!).   That was my breaking point, and from then on I started to wean off the meds.

I thought that after they cleared my system, I would just drop those extra 15 pounds pretty quick.  Stupid me.  Here I am, 3 months after stopping and I have NOT lost one pound of that extra medicine-induced weight.  Yay.

To say that these SSRI’s do not change your metabolism is a joke, they most certainly did (for me anyway).  They also made me crave everything carb loaded in the house.  It’s just a terrible vicious cycle that is very hard to break!

I am beyond frustrated.  I have added an extra cardio workout to my schedule each week, along with daily Yoga practice.  Been eating as healthy as I can and still….NADA.  This has never happened to me before.  I am actually considered overweight on the BMI scale! YIKES!!

SO…..If anyone has been in my shoes, please feel free to tell me your story and what worked for you!  I would love to know that my metabolism is not ruined forever due to these toxic drugs!! I will never, never, never try them again.  I am proof that supplements and aminos work just as well (maybe better!)—if you want to know what I’m currently taking, feel free to ask me and I’ll share.  I am due for my cholesterol profile in less than a month and I am genuinely scared to see the results of the damage this has done to my heart health :-(

Another note:  I’m not trying to bash anyone that is currently on an SSRI.  I took them in the past (in my 20’s) and they literally changed my life back then.  They do work wonders for the right people, just not me.  If it works for you, then keep doing what your doing!  I just needed a plan B and fast.  I cannot afford to be this heavy with the heart disease that runs rampant in my family.  I forgot to mention that my dad was hospitalized for a major heart attack requiring multiple bypass and also a aortic aneurysm, that he barely lived through.  I do not want to be a statistic.  I want to me healthy and happy!!

Be well!
Peace,
Callily

2+ weeks post detox update!

Hello to my faithful followers!!  I'm so excited to see that spring is finally showing up heyah in Maine!  The past week has seen some temps nearing 80, and I'm just loving it!  It's been a long, cold, dreary winter!!  We've received our semi-annual flock of baby chicks and they are in the brooding house peeping like crazy.  By the fall, we will be moving our (much older) hens out and will have new layers.  A big perk to eating healthy!  Cannot beat the nutritional difference in a FREE RANGE EGG!  (NOTE:  Not cage free here--our birds forage on acres of pasture daily!!  BIG DIFFERENCE when it comes to the egg!)--Now that the ground is soft, they are already digging up creatures to devour!  We've been told our eggs are rich & the taste cannot be compared to a store bought (sweatshop) egg!  We are currently trying to move onto completely organic feed (or at least GMO free) in the near future!

It's been a little over 2 weeks since stopping my detox plan and I will say that I have been doing a really great job implementing some of the eating habits that I learned on the way.  As you know, I've been enjoying my morning cup of coffee everyday and that just boosted my mood instantly.  Not sure how some people can say that coffee is no good, etc...I find it to be the most favorite part of my daily routine!  The smell, the warmth, the taste....it's all good!

As far as food goes:  I've been making healthy choices and still making my own meals (unless it's something my daughter will eat)--mostly stews and soups that I can enjoy for a couple days at a time.  Keeping it mostly grain/carb free with lots of flavor.  Eating out, I've been enjoying salads with lots of salsa/guacamole or pre making a new salad dressing that I've been wanting to try.  Being prepared is (again) the biggest advice I can give.  Been keeping alcohol to a minimum while I"m still trying to reach my goal weight --my choices have been dark red wine, silver tequila with lime and soda.  Beer I'm just saving for "on tap"...meaning restaurant only (like fountain Coke vs. a bottle--yuk!).  No beer at home (which used to be a regular thing on weekends or special dinners with friends).  The alcohol will quickly kill your diet, and fast!

My weight since detoxing has plateaued a bit.  1.4 pound gain last week :-(  Hopeing to get out more in between my dance classes to burn some extra calories!!

For my gardening friends!  Now is the time to start some seeds indoors if you like.  If you have a sunny window, get those herbs going!!  It's a fun and easy project, especially if you want strictly organic herbs!!

Well, I'm onto my DD's parent teacher conferences!!

Enjoy the sun!

Be well,

Callily

Tappin' Out...Detox Day 14 :-(

Yes...This is a photo of my much missed coffee with some of the homemade Maine maple syrup that my son made over the weekend.  I can't even begin to tell you how much this was needed and missed.  I made it through two weeks of the Detox program and after an extremely stressful weekend, I decided that I've had enough.

I'm a bit bummed and feel a bit like a failure that I couldn't make the 21 days, but I just have to forgive myself, understand that 2 weeks detoxing is better than nothing, and move on.  The commitment, deprivation, and missing out on a social lunch/dinner date was really starting to impact my life (and happiness).  I found myself snapping at my family members, having no energy, no motivation and no patience!!  It's a very, very difficult routine to stick to.  The amount of prep was the biggest drawback.  Tons and tons of planning, (cutting, slicing, dicing, pre cooking, etc.) just for ME.  Then having to do it all over again for my family's meals was taking a toll on my day and my budget!!

So, what I've decided to do is eliminate the dairy, keep my sugar consumption to natural (honey or maple) only, minimal grains and drink all the coffee I want!  LOL  I'm hoping that continuing to eat healthier by using the guidelines I've learned will be easier for me to incorporate back into eating with my family again.  I really miss that.  I felt really "segregated", at times eating by myself because I had to cook my own meals after theirs.

This has been a very interesting ride, one that I would (maybe) do again but not to the extreme as this one.

I thank anyone who followed along with me to see if it's something you'd like to try.  You can plainly see it's a big dedication and struggle, but it's all worth it to help your body become healthier.  I do firmly believe that any detox (whether it be a month, a week or a few days) is better than none at all.  All of our bodies need a break from inflammation and chemicals.  I will continue my favorite part of the detox (the smoothies) for breakfast and keep in touch on how my numbers are doing too!!

Thanks for following!!

Callily (while sipping my amazing organic coffee!!) :-)

Skin Deep...Detox Days 12 & 13

After nearly two weeks of detoxing, I'm starting to see some results in a few areas.  The biggest being my skin.  Normally, I have VERY sensitive skin that breaks out easily.  I suffer from environmental allergies and a vitamin E allergy (which is in nearly EVERYTHING)--so, I go most days with some sort of itchiness, blotchiness or redness someplace on my body.  But....I've noticed these past few days that my skin is noticeably clearer.....everywhere!  This definitely has to do with the detox.  It's a proven fact that sugars, grains, dairy and such cause inflammation in your body.  Now I need to find out what is bothering me the most and try to eliminate it.  Time for a food journal!!

The second area is that of weight loss.  I've lost a total of 7 pounds so far.  Granted, I'm eating mostly veggies all day and a smoothie.  I admit I'd be pretty bummed if I didn't see some sort of weight loss during all of this deprivation.  LOL  Keeping it off is another story altogether....

It's been nearly a week of chicken soup for lunch.  I'm not sure if I'll ever eat chicken soup again....

Tonight I get to have a nice piece of Wild Salmon!  I'm really looking forward to it!!

One more week to go!  Cannot wait for that cup of coffee!!!!!!

Have a great day!

Callily

Groundhog Days... Detox Days 9, 10, & 11

Groundhog Day.  Yeah, I know it was over a month ago, but that's what I feel like I've been living this past week and a half.  It's been the longest 10 days ever.  EVER.

I'm not starving.  I'm just bored.  I'm missing my flavorful, fun, comfort foods.  The coffee is the hardest still.  It's SO hard to not have my morning cup of "Joe"!

I've made quite a few recipes (most of which seem very Paleo-esque), and I've liked a couple of them.  But most of them leave me wanting more "flavor"--or are missing something that I just cannot put my finger on. I find myself reaching for condiments lately (ketchup, mustard, a dressing, etc...) of which I'm not allowed.  Didn't realize how much I look to them to add "flavor" to my dishes.  Funny, it's the little things that you miss.  Little things that make a BIG difference in/on your food.  Cannot wait to be able to add more dimension to my plate again!

 This Detox is much, much harder that I ever thought it would be!  It says I would have more energy, but I feel dragged.  Not sure if its from missing my foods, detoxing, caffeine withdrawals or what, but I'm definitely not energized.  Maybe next week I will see some major transformation!.....hopefully.

I meant to add that I did make it through St. Patrick's Day without my beloved Guinness last Friday while at the mountain.  Coincidentally, I got an email from my nutritionist on the way up stating that I can have a small glass of dark red wine if I was desperate.  I got desperate and really, really, REALLY enjoyed my whopping 4 ounce cup of cabernet...LOL.  It was a great treat and helped me cope with all the green beers being passed around the pub that night :-)

Another busy weekend on tap!  My daughter has a dance competition on Sunday.  All day.  Not sure how I'm going to manage lugging all my detox foods with me, but I'll have to cope somehow.  Until then, enjoy this freezing spring day!

Callily

I'm still alive...Detox Days 5, 6 & 7

Sorry for the delayed post folks!  Went snowboarding on Friday night and continued to have a busy weekend!  Time flew by and I never got the chance to sit at the desk and start typing!

The past few days have been just "okay"--definitely getting sick of eating a lot of the same foods/meals each day.  This plan has me making one big meal that I split up into 5 or 7 meals for the week.  Not sure about you, but after the 2nd or 3rd time eating it, I'm done.  I would say that's been a big challenge for me.  Especially if it's a meal I'm not that jazzed up on to begin with.  This week it's chicken soup----whoopee!!  (insert sarcasm here)--not a huge fan of chicken soup....

Yesterday I got to make a sweet potato hash for breakfast that was missing one thing...eggs.  Otherwise, it would have been amazing!  Today, I'm back to my smoothie, that I actually really love and look forward to.  It keeps me full all morning and tastes great!

During this detox, I've been thinking of the folks that normally do not eat or like veggies/smoothies/prep work, etc. and wondering how they would do on this plan.  I would think that by the end of the first week, they would tap out.  It's a BIG COMMITMENT with the amount of food prep, expense, time, and sacrifice.  I'm one of those folks that is used to vegan/paleo and limited foods, and I'm struggling here.  All I can say is if you decide to try it, prepare well in advance by limiting your sugars/grains/caffeine/alcohol now......

The biggest disappointment came in the form of my SNACK that I am allowed to make for in between meals (or some have it for breakfast if they are not into smoothies)--it is a "blueberry bar".

I followed the recipe and it included everything from blueberries, shredded coconut, walnuts, chia, etc.  all mixed in with coconut oil.  Sounded and smelled delicious while I was putting it together and I couldn't wait to try it!!! Once it set up in the fridge for a bit, I grabbed a square to try.....now, put yourself in my shoes:  Looking for a bit of a sweet bite,  a week of no sugar or anything sweet, ....just looking for a nice crunchy snack to have with my tea......only to have my hopes DASHED with the first bite of this "bar"--it tasted like oil.  Just oil.  No sweet, no crunch, nothing but oil!!!  Major sigh.  Yeah, that snack went right into the bucket.  Bummer.

So,....Moving onto week 2.  Hoping it gets a little easier.....

Callily

Rubber bands for dinner?? Detox Day 5

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!  I've made it five days!!  And I'm still alive!! 

Today will be a challenge.  It's my first trip snowboarding on my Detox.  Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but the people I snowboard with enjoy eating dinner in the pub at the mountain, and having a few beers with it.  They have their own custom beer and it's amazing!  Also,  it's St. Patrick's Day!  No Guinness, No black & tan, nada!! :-(

Early this morning, I went ahead and prepped to make my dinner recipe ahead of time so I may take it along with me to the mountain.  Normally, they frown upon you bringing your own food into their restaurant, which is going to make it tougher.  I will have to find a way to smuggle in my "Kelp Stir Fry"....

Yup, I said KELP.  In a stir fry.

So, what is a kelp noodle anyway?  I grabbed the package this morning, opened it up, and what I found is a mildly salty smelling bag of rubber bands!  LOL!  Not really, but that is actually what they remind me of!!  Here's the package:

I went along with creating the recipe for dinner....sliced, diced, chopped all the veggies, made the special "asian-ish" sauce, and added these nicely rinsed noodles.   After finishing I hesitantly tried the dish, and I have to admit it's quite tasty!!  The noodles have a little "crunch", seem to take on whatever flavor I infused them with (lots of ginger)--not too bad considering what they look like!

The finished recipe looks like this:

I think I may actually make it through dinner at the mountain tonight without sulking!  

Mood = As I'm typing, I'm drinking the morning smoothie.  Slow going because I'm not feeling very hungry.  Still getting pangs of cravings, but mostly at night for coffee, beer and something sweet/crunchy.

Got on the scale this morning and was excited to see I'm 2 pounds lighter!  That's uplifting considering I've estimated these smoothies to be at least 500 calories a pop!  They are jammed with seeds, nuts, hemp....google the calories and they really add up....But, I'm sticking to the plan and am excited to see where I end up at the end of all of this!!

Until tomorrow....have a beer for me!!

Callily